anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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