I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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