ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
