Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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