dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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