everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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