i don't like sucking hair
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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