I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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