we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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