break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
