once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
