I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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