If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love you.
Bad choice
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
