Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.

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  (561): I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes. http://tfl.nu/o56m
  Replies (4) Good night (1322) Bad night (1535)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

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  (270): i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high. http://tfl.nu/s9x7
  Replies (25) Good night (1482) Bad night (2322)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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  (612): just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity. http://tfl.nu/dkjk
  Replies (11) Good night (969) Bad night (3159)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  she told me i tasted like america

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  (206): she told me i tasted like america http://tfl.nu/ed46
  Replies (31) Good night (8032) Bad night (1364)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs

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  (541): Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs http://tfl.nu/iwcs
  Replies (7) Good night (2493) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.

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  (402): Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others. http://tfl.nu/fg60
  Replies (5) Good night (1847) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.

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  (518): Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked. http://tfl.nu/4s83
  Replies (10) Good night (513) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.

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  (612): It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death. http://tfl.nu/1jo8
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

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  (+61): We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house http://tfl.nu/x0d1
  Replies (2) Good night (1037) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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  (408): I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/4u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.

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  (902): I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks. http://tfl.nu/hv7j
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.

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  (308): I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault. http://tfl.nu/fi8o
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag

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  (309): My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag http://tfl.nu/a60b
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.

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  (252): I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape. http://tfl.nu/pprc
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.

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  (864): Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall. http://tfl.nu/4mxx
  Replies (1) Good night (227) Bad night (430)

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