drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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