You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
