Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
