I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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