He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
