it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
