More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
