Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
