4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
