She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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