im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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