I want to stick my p in your. b.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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