I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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