you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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