She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
