i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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