If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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