I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
