I could have mohawked her pubes.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
