...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
