It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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