chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
