I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
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I got her a Nickelback box set.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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