when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
