so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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