therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
