what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
