did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
