Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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