I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
