Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Is Oprah even human
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
