Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
