ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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