I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
