please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
