at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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