honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was born a porn star she said
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
