I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize