I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
