forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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