Christians are straight up FREAKS
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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