Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
