Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love you. Go after that dick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
is it fun? or sober?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
