why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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