If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
farters have to be the big spoon...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
