that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
