oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
