I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Randomize
