no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
