just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize